That being said I would love to say I was as CONFIDENT as I am now when I was considered overweight. The truth is sometimes I really thought I was, I thought that I owned my weight, that I was happy being heavy and looked amazing but the truth is... I wasn't, my weight OWNED me.
I wasn't confident, and all those things I said to try to convince myself were said so I could mask all of my INSECURITIES. Again, I am not saying big isn't beautiful, some of the most beautiful women I have ever met are not skinny. Some of my best friends, family, for example. Their beauty is astonishing, really. And you know what, beauty and confidence SHOULD come from the inside, because beauty fades and it is, your true self, what you are left with. Call it cliche due to overuse but it's TRUTH.
I wasn't confident, and all those things I said to try to convince myself were said so I could mask all of my INSECURITIES. Again, I am not saying big isn't beautiful, some of the most beautiful women I have ever met are not skinny. Some of my best friends, family, for example. Their beauty is astonishing, really. And you know what, beauty and confidence SHOULD come from the inside, because beauty fades and it is, your true self, what you are left with. Call it cliche due to overuse but it's TRUTH.
Did I follow that piece of advice, NO. I never did, and I let my weight hold me back so, so, SO much in my life. So many times I wanted to join the dance team, or the swim team, but DIDN'T. Why??? Easy, because I was OVERWEIGHT. I didn't want to be pin pointed or even remotely try to be the center of attention because even if I would have excelled, let's face it, kids can be CRUEL. Let me rephrase that. PEOPLE can be cruel.
So I kept shoving my dreams and aspirations to the back of my mind and tried to forget... The very reason why I did not go to an arts college to pursue my DREAM of being in the theater was because there was no room for someone who looked like me on stage. Puerto Rican decent you may ask? No... that's not it... Curly hair??... Nope try again... FAT???... ding ding din! Just look at the movies you watch and the shows you love, how many of them have any overweight people in them? Worst yet, a FAT girl in them??? So yeah, it held me back.
Do all plus size people feel this way??? NO!!! And they shouldn't!!!! Because being overweight is not a SIN! It is NOT a FAULT! But you know what??? Society doesn't make it easy to think that way. And I did feel this way!!!... and I DID let it stop me, too many times.
So I got tired and I did something about it... No longer would I let my weight be what kept me back and you know what, I liberated myself ; NO longer will I ever hide behind my weight. That not only has to do with the physical changes but due to this journey I have also become mentally strong!
This weekend I did something I NEVER thought would be possible and ALWAYS dreamt of doing but was too afraid of perceptions to do so when I was overweight and looked like this...
I went PARASAILING... and it felt AMAZING, I FELT amazing, I can now, due to my journey and changes, finally FLY!
Hope this helps inspire your journey and let's you believe that ALL your goals are POSSIBLE!!!
PLEASE SHARE, FOLLOW AND COMMENT!
Thank you all!!!!
You go girl! Parasailing is fun. As always you are amazing and inspirational. Keep being that amazing person.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your constant support! I truly appreciate you more than you know!
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome! You looked like you had such a great time! You're right. Sometimes we own the weight, but I'll admit, I feel great and puzzled when someone says "You look so beautiful. Have you lost weight?" It seems to be the new compliment. You looked beautiful before, but now you look better, so it must be that you're less heavy! It encourages me, but it hurts in a way. But I am just focusing on feeling better. That is what I want. Whatever else comes, it's just icing on top.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It was really a once in a lifetime experience. So amazing. Yes, I used to get my least favorite compliment which was, " You have such a beautiful face," it was never meant to be hurtful. But again it was flattering and disheartening all at the same time. U mean my face is just beautiful but my body is what?? Hideous? Super contradicting. Exactly just move forward for you not for what people have to say. For u are the only one who needs to like what she sees and be healthy.
ReplyDeleteFat-free, and low fat food at grocery stores with nutritional facts at http://healthygrocery.blogspot.com
ReplyDelete